Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
