this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
