Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
