this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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