We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
