Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
