I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
