I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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