I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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