I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
