Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
