I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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