I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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