Sponge bath it is.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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