Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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