You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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