i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
