Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
