Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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