I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
