in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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