That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
