I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
