It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
