His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
