This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
