is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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