i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
