she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
