So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
