I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
