I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
What a dumb baby whore.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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