So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
