I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
