Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
