How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
