i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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