I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
