Me too!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
