What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
