Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
