Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
