RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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