watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This is my gift to your gina
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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