she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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