you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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