Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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