That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
