But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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