I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
3pm strippers are depressing
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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