I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
