You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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