I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
